


drifting

by ImSoSupernova



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Eating Disorders, Established Relationship, F/M, Getting out, Recovery, References to Depression, Toxic Relationship, breaking up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-04 00:18:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12759216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImSoSupernova/pseuds/ImSoSupernova
Summary: when her relationship starts to fall apart, noora goes through the five stages of grief.





	drifting

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally posted on tumblr on april 30, but i'm uploading it to ao3 as part of my remake process. hope u enjoy!!   
> also, noora is a lesbian

**_i. denial_ **

it starts out with small things. unanswered texts and late nights at work. things she can excuse. his phone must have died, or he saw it and forgot to respond, or he’s in a meeting and can’t respond. he’s got extra projects he has to do and he works so hard, he’s so responsible, he’s trying, he’s really trying. and it keeps happening. and sometimes it takes hours for him to respond, or he won’t respond at all, no matter how many messages she sends, and he works late almost every night and starts going into the office on the weekends. and then he starts to miss her calls, and he can’t seem to meet her eyes when she talks to him and her stomach catches in her throat. but she closes her eyes and clenches her fists and tells herself,  _he loves you he loves you he loves you he loves you_  and he  _must_  because she’s given up everything to be with him, her home and her friends and her education, and he’s working so hard he must be tired and it’s hard to have conversations after a long day at the office and he must be doing well if he has all this extra work to do and he’s working hard for both of them and  _he loves you he still loves you he must he must he must._

_**ii. anger** _

_why are you always working late_ noora asks him one night and he shrugs and takes a sip of scotch and answers  _boss is just putting a lot more pressure on me._ she nods and it’s silent for a second but she needs to know she needs to know so she tells him  _i understand but do you have to stay late every single night, you know i miss you_  and he sets down his glass hard and glares and tells her and says  _what do you want me to do? i can’t start slacking this job is too important_ and she snaps that  _yes i get that it’s important but what about us? isn’t that important to you to?_ and he drains his glass and doesn’t answer. and noora doesn’t ask about it again but as time goes on and he’s staying late again and he has to go out to dinner with his coworkers and  _no you shouldn’t come along it’s all gonna be about work stuff and it’ll be boring for you_  it becomes less  _disappointed_ and more  _of course, of course you’re going out again of course you can’t spend time with me_ and she gets more frustrated because it’s like he’s in london and she never even left norway and she gave up everything for them to be together so he should  _fucking act like_ he wants them to be together and finally one night when she’s waiting for him to come home she thinks  _i wish i had stayed in norway_  and the thought terrifies her. and then william comes home and lays down next to her on the bed smelling and sounding like one too many drinks, and she pretends she’s asleep so she doesn’t have to look at him.

**_iii. bargaining_ **

sometimes she wonders if it’s her fault. if she had been kinder, more patient, more docile, if she was more supportive. if she put her needs before his more. and she tries. she tries so hard to understand. she pours his drinks and kisses him when he comes home late and paints a smile on her face and goes to parties with him and talks with his work friends no matter how condescending they are, and goes home and fucks him whenever he wants and for a while, she thinks that it’s working. he’s happier when he comes home and answers her texts. and then he calls her and tells her he needs to spend the night at the office, and doesn’t answer her texts the next day, and noora realizes that they’re back where they started.

**_iv. depression_ **

she stops eating again. or, she eats less. she has breakfast with william in the mornings and sometimes has a salad or some fruit for lunch, but she sits on the couch and waits for him to come home every night with some shitty soap opera on in the background and she forgets to eat dinner. and then she stops getting out of bed to have breakfast in the mornings, and then she stops getting out of bed at all, and forgets to shower or brush her teeth or her hair and just lies in bed. and waits. and waits for him to come back. and she thinks of vilde with her blonde hair and her endless optimism, asking her if william is good enough for her, and eva, saying how she needed to find out who she was on her own, and chris and sana exchanging looks when she tells them that she’s going to london with william. and she thinks of eskild and linn and mari and iben and sara and hartvig nissen and everyone and everything she’s left behind. to be with someone who can’t even look her in the eye anymore, who holds his disappointment and anger in every movement he makes towards her. and she keeps hearing vilde’s voice is in her head.  _do you think he’s good enough for you?_

_**v. acceptance** _

_no._

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: i accidentally pressed enter and posted this before i was planning to, but the end really worked so i stuck with it. anyways, i'm really proud of this one.


End file.
